A Christmas Program to Remember

Dresses were on, hair was curled, I managed to throw on a clean shirt, and we were on time. As we headed to Emily's Christmas program I couldn't help but think, wow this went smoothly. Normally for events such as this, Emily is crying because she doesn't want to wear what I picked out, I am shrieking at her to hold still so I don't burn her with the curling iron, and we are horribly late.

Once we arrived Emily went to go pass out programs and Ava just sat on my lap taking it all in. She was being such a good baby and stayed that way for most of the program.

We sat through the fifth grade band, the kindergarten( they are always my favorite), and the first grade. Again, I couldn't help but think, wow this is going great! Ava is behaving, the music teacher has kept things moving at a quick pace, we will be outta here in no time. Then I smelled it. That familiar smell that tells me that Ava has made a gift for me. No big deal, I will sneak out and change her and be back in time to hear Emily sing. Well, Ava had other plans. As I was assessing the situation, I noticed that there was poop on the back of her dress and that we had failed to bring in the diaper bag. As the panic started to rise I saw poop on my jeans. Oh my god! What am I going to do! We were about 15 rows up in the bleachers, surrounded by people, with a poop situation and no diaper bag. And the smell, well, lets just say it was not pleasant. Matt decides he will go get the diaper bag and I am still trying to figure out how to walk out of there with poop on my baby, poop on my jeans and the newly discovered poop on my shirt. I wanted to cry. I didn't even know where to start with this. Matt sees the despair on my face and decides to talk to me like I am five…. It is ok, we will just walk out of here, no one will notice, I will get the bag and everything will be fine. I wanted to shriek at the top of my lungs, It will not be fine, I am covered in poop! I frantically looked for anything to wipe off my jeans before making the journey through the packed bleachers. I resorted to using the back of Ava's dress, it had poop on it anyway…. I made my descent and hoped no one smelled me or realized what was going on. I stood in the hallway while Matt got the bag from the car. We hightailed it to the music room to get cleaned up.

I think she looks smug here.

I used baby wipes to try to get us both reasonably cleaned off. Meanwhile hoping that we wouldn't miss Emily sing. We made it back in time, I stood in the back of the gym with Ava. And yes, we still smelled like poop.

Can you spot Emily? Hint: She is the tallest one.

Once Emily was done singing Ava decided she needed to eat and eat now. I took her out to the car while Matt waited for Emily. It is really not hard to see who is in charge of this horse and pony show.

It's a good thing she is so cute….

After the program Matt photographed Emily twirling in her Christmas dress, what good is a dress if you can't twirl in it?

Once we were home I cleaned myself up, bathed Ava, put our clothes on the sanitize cycle in the new washing machine that I have yet to completely figure out, and wanted to pour myself a scotch on the rocks. But I didn't, because I was too tired and Ava was demanding to be held, so I passed out in the recliner.