What Have I Created?

I am in bed with my laptop, my cup of decaf(in a Harry Potter mug if you must know)and my almost 5 month old asleep next to me. Sounds good, right? Well, in our house that is up for debate.

As with most things in life there are many different ways to parent a child. So many decisions to make; breastfeed or formula, circumcise or not, Pampers or cloth, crib or co-sleep, pacifiers or not, stroller or sling, cry it out or comfort. I think it can get overwhelming sometimes, so I have found that I just try to do what feels right to me and not worry what everyone else is doing. I like to read books and take bits and pieces of advice and apply them as needed.

Matt makes fun of my attachment parenting tendencies. I nurse on demand, use a sling or a carrier when possible, keep baby in our room, and I nap with Ava every day. She will never have to cry it out or face a spanking. He likens me to one of those hippie types that scoffs at strollers and will lecture random people on the benefits of breastfeeding. He is only joking, but I think in general people can be so critical of others parenting choices. We find out that someone is doing something differently and immediately jump on the defensive. Believe me when I say I am no expert on parenting. I make the choices that are right for us and expect that other families do the same.

Breastfeeding has been such a positive experience for us. Have I loved every minute of it? No. There have been times when I have been up every hour feeding Ava and I look over at Matt snoring and I want to suffocate him. It is a big commitment and hard work. If I want to be away for more than a few hours I have to bring my pump, and I hate to pump. With that being said, breastfeeding also allows me to be lazy. I don't have to get out of bed at night to feed her and no bottles to pack when we travel. What breastfeeding this long has allowed me to see is that it is not possible for everyone. I fully support any mother feeding her baby, formula or breast milk. Babies usually thrive on formula, Emily did. I do feel that our society in general does not support breastfeeding mothers but that is a post for another day. Have I said breastfeeding enough times? Breast Breast Breast…..

I think the sleep issue is most debated at our house. Matt said to me last night, you need to train her to sleep. And I was all, I will not train her to do anything. The fact that I am lucky enough to be able to stay home with Ava has allowed me to make different choices. If I worked full time I would probably feel differently about a sleep schedule and I am sure we would use Ava's crib for more than a place to put clean clothes. Usually we only have a few sleepless nights a month. She is a good sleeper when she is near me. I get what Matt is saying, but at this point I can't bring myself to put Ava in a crib in another room by herself all night. Plus I would have to get out of bed to get her when she cries, and well, that doesn't work for me. She will have bed times (Emily is in bed by 8:30) and she will eventually sleep in her own room, but for now I do what feels right and resting in bed with her until 9:00 a.m. feels right.

Another source of contention is Ava's aversion to anyone but her mama. We joke that she tolerates Matt, but it is true. She is so suspicious that I am going to leave her with someone that she does not like to let me out of her sight when we are visiting family or friends. Should someone dare to try to hold her she usually bursts into tears. And God forbid someone try to give her a bottle. I do think that this is because she is rarely more than a few feet away from me. During the day I am either nursing, sleeping, or playing with her. She is a creature of habit and has little tolerance for anything other than what she knows. This works out most of the time, but we do have instances when we would like to go out. Matt's work party is coming up, I think I will purchase my mom some earplugs.

So it seems that I have created a baby that is clingy, won't take a bottle, won't sleep on her own, and needs her mama 24/7. For some this would be a nightmare, but I consider it a success and it works for us, most of the time. Oh, and I use disposable diapers, a fancy stroller, and pacifiers….gasp!